Sizing up my Closet
My writing generally invites people to take a look inside my mind but today, I invite you to look inside my old closet. It was full of clothing that was every size under the sun.
The last few years have been marked for me by large fluctuations in weight which accompanied with them a vast and varied wardrobe. However, after recovery I had a figure that was a healthier size for me and happened to be bigger than most of the clothes I owned. But I couldn't let go of the smaller clothes. I would try them on constantly and felt horrified as clothes that were once loose on me clung tightly to my body or wouldn't zip at all.
I told my psychologist of the dread and anxiety I'd feel getting dressed every morning and she suggested I try a simple experiment and put away all the clothes that didn't currently fit. As the weeks went on I noticed that my weight stayed the same but my body image improved drastically - something I thought would only happen if I lost weight. It made me see that I blamed my body for making me feel bad when in reality the wrongly-sized clothes were the reason for my misery. Just like you wouldn't feel great in baggy jeans that fell down all day, you won't feel great in pants you're dying to unbutton.
Although the average person may not relate to drastic weight fluctuations, they can probably relate to the concept of the "Target Outfit". You know, that pair of jeans from high school you aspire to someday fit into again or that outfit you intentionally bought one size too small so that you'll force yourself to slim down? I've discovered that the real secret to feeling great is to toss those old jeans and buy that outfit in the right size: Last week was my birthday and I bought an exquisite dress that fit me perfectly. I'll admit I knew I wouldn't look like the woman modelling it but we all shine in our own way and she won't look – or feel - the way that I do in it either. What matters most is that I can bet you that no one has ever felt as happy as I did in that perfectly fitting dress!