TRANSforming Recovery

Dealing with an eating disorder is a daunting, disheartening and isolating experience for anyone. It is an especially difficult struggle for those who identify as transgender or claim a gender identity that falls under the larger trans umbrella of gender diversity.

Welcome to the Family ED

Six years ago my sister stopped eating. It started after she began experimenting with dieting and seeing some results. First it was just cutting out all junk food, and then the portions of her food kept getting smaller and smaller until she was barely consuming anything in a day. And where was I? In the middle of the chaos that was going on in my home, feeling a mixture of a bunch of emotions that I wasn’t very proud of, and felt unable to express. You can almost think of it as getting a new member of the family. 

Tomorrow Still Holds No Mistakes

When I was first approached by NEDIC with the opportunity to submit a blog post several emotions overcame me. The most overbearing emotion was guilt. Although I felt minimal feelings of honour, accomplishment, and a sense of pride, just because my recovery has not been picturesque, that same voice who fed my ED for years was still screaming at endless decibels that I was not good enough. I was a false example of life in recovery. My lost count of slips since leaving residential treatment were by no means something I should have any pride in.

It Can Happen to Anyone.

It can happen to anyone. When you think of someone suffering from an eating disorder you picture a young female or a famous celebrity that you have seen in a magazine. You never think of a male. But I am here to say it does happen to men and I’m using my time now to write about it and explain what happens.

Knowing Yourself To Recovery

If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked what my 'background' is, I'd be rich.
Growing up as a racially ambiguous person with a white mother and a black father, I more
often than not got looks of confusion or even asked if they’re my real parents. During my
teenage years it was especially difficult figuring out my own self-identity as a mixed person
who ‘didn’t look mixed’ as well as accepting the changes happening to my body.

Learning to Love Food

As someone who struggled with ED for about seven years, food was my enemy for quite some time. In my sickest days food was to be avoided at all costs. Social events were turned down because I didn’t know how to avoid eating. Family celebrations were no longer enjoyable because I might be forced to eat. I began running out of excuses for why I couldn’t eat. Day and day, the desire to remain thin filled my mind. Gaining weight and eating were simply not options. Was I happy? No, of course not, but I couldn’t tell anyone.

Free to be ME, not ED!

At times when I was very ill, I made every effort to avoid food. It was normal to throw it out or lie to my friends and family about having eaten, However this was against my personal values. I would have never imagined that I would throw food out when there were people in the world who couldn’t find food to eat. I never thought I would lie to my loved ones! Yet, here I was, doing these things. Why? What was happening to me?